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The inability to sleep like regular individuals. As much as you tell yourself you’ll sleep that night, your mind just won’t shut down. Medications won’t work, meditation helps. (It’s all in your little crazy head.)

Insomniac: FUCK! It’s 3 am.. Oh well.. looks like I won’t be sleeping. *Grabs phone, Clicks on Pornhub Video*
Fuck yeah.

Friend: "I slept like a baby last night! Love how I can sleep 8 hours errr’night. How’d you sleep?

You: Go lick my butthole. I have insomnia you dick.

by Petiteone September 14, 2018

263 up, 3 down


A common health problem characterised by difficulty in either falling or staying asleep. It can occur on its own (primary) or as a result of another medical disorder, such as depression (secondary).

Insomnia can be debilitating.

by Doc_B April 16, 2015

75 up, 2 down


The biggest whore in the universe to humans. Takes up all your time and effort just to fuck with your head and then leaves you depraved and indifferent to reality for a long, long time. Can be induced through psychosis, mania, chemical imbalance, drugs such as Cocaine, LSD, Mescaline, Nicotine, caffeine (even though you need a metric fuck ton of it to do so) and Pharmaceuticals (only if you get the rebound effect, which is shitty as fuckkk!)

Insomnia, you cunt, go fucking choke on a sperm sandwich and die!

by T.S. Scriber January 4, 2013

27 up, 3 down


Insomnia is a sleeping disorder. There are various different types of insomnia, depending on a number of factors.

Transitory insomnia affects an individual for only a few nights. Short term insomnia may last several days or a couple weeks. Chronic insomnia lasts several weeks or even months.

Insomnia may affect different parts of the sleep cycle. A person with insomnia may have little trouble falling asleep, but find that they wake up after only a few hours and cannot fall back asleep for several more, if at all. A person may also have immense difficulty falling asleep, only to find that they can't stay asleep for any meaningful length of time.

Having a sleep cycle longer or shorter than 24 hours does not necessarily constitute insomnia, however it may be a sign of another sleeping disorder, and should not be ignored. Staying up late and sleeping in is not insomnia either, as insomnia constitutes an inability to get enough sleep, and not an inability (or unwillingness) to get to sleep at the right time. Many people believe that they have insomnia, or claim to have insomnia, who actually only have one of the above problems.

The author of this definition fell asleep at about 8:30 PM last night, and woke up at about 12:00 AM. It is now about 7:00 AM, and he has still not been able to return to sleep, despite attempts to sedate himself repeatedly with milk, music, and masturbation. This difficulty has persisted in a like manner for several weeks. It is likely that he suffers from some form of insomnia.

by Five Six Five November 14, 2009

48 up, 8 down


A condition where a person cannot find sleep, and therefore life enjoyment goes out the window. I consider myself a chronic insomniac and have been this way for the past month and so I do not know when I will ever have a good night's sleep again.

I wish this insomnia would end and I can slip off into dreamland as opposed to slitting my wrists.

by Paul Ward March 26, 2007

64 up, 26 down


1. A disorder that prevents someone from getting enough sleep

2. A self diagnosed ailment that all attention whores suffer from.

Carl: I went for a checkup today. The doctor said I might be suffering from insomnia.
Joe: Shit son.


Lisa: trying 2 sleep but its hard with insomnia lolz
Jim: Bitch, shut the fuck up.

by BilboFaggins December 31, 2010

25 up, 10 down


1. A disorder that prevents one from sleeping.

2. What you pay a doctor to diagnose you with so you can get medical weed.

1. Max became very adept at masturbation after two weeks of insomnia. He just had too much time.

2. James paid some corrupt doctor to prescribe him weed for his "insomnia".

by MyDogBarksAtTheWashingMachine November 18, 2012

10 up, 3 down