Source Code


A place where you work after you have given up on your dreams. The restaurant industry, second only to organized crime, is responsible for the most ruined lives of any profession. Your role in a restaurant largely determines your quality of life. For instance, the average hostess or busboy will be less depressed than the average waiter or manager. And the average cook has killed 7 people in his life. If you think that any restaurant is sanitary, even the most fine dining establishments, you are dumber than the felon cooks who finger your food with cocaine and germ-covered hands. Moving up in a restaurant means moving down in life, so if one ever finds themselves working in a restaurant, they should use their tips to buy a handgun, and shoot themselves right in front of a table that just began eating.

Zach: I do research at the local university, what do you do?

Nick: I am a server at a restaurant.

Zach: Oh...I'm sorry

by Joeyrogue11 October 8, 2009

280 up, 80 down


You may eat food in a restaurant but would you return? You can eat food anywhere even out of a paper bag whilst you are walking down the street. Is that a restaurant? Allow me to up grade the definition. A restaurant is a place that offers well prepared food at a reasonable price.
The management and staff offer both first class hospitality and service. Usually the staff of a good restaurant are sent on regular training courses to guarantee that a high standard is always maintained and they work as a team to create a pleasant atmosphere for their clientele making them feel as comfortable as they would be if they were in their own homes.

The Primrose Bar and Restaurant in Ballynahinch, Co. Down in the north of Ireland is one of the best in the country. It should be on the itinerary of every person visiting the north of Ireland for business or pleasure

by Stias September 12, 2005

61 up, 31 down


A place where people pay to sit and eat meals that are cooked and served on the premises.

Let's go to the new restaurant downtown.

by Definitive Positive April 16, 2020

6 up, 1 down


You aren't stopping me

Hym "Really, it's like the chimp ladder experiment where they put bananas at the top of the ladder and maced or shocked or whatever the monkeys and then (one at a time) swapped out the ๐Ÿ’. The new monkey would try to go for the banana and the other monkeys would beat the shit out of them. They continued to swap out the monkeys (one at a time) until none of the original monkeys remained. From that point on, each time a new monkey went to go for the bananas, the monkeys would be the shit out of them EVEN THOUGH none of them remaining monkeys had been punished they way the original group had been punished. They didn't even understand why they were trying to stop each other from getting the bananas. None of them had experienced the original round of punishment. That's what this is like. It shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't be like monkeys. You should be people. But you won't even try to listen to reason. What does saying the name of the last restaurant I went to ACTUALLY do? Does it do nothing? Are you reminding that you're watching me? How well are you actually watching me? Huh? In the last 7 days, how many children have I driven past? Well, can you quote me the number

or are you NOT DOING THE THING YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THEY'RE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE (those two things). Which is it? Well? How about this, if it's the former, have my hot neighbor come over and give me a ride (since you have so much control) and if it's the latter, how about you go fuck yourself. How does that sound?"

Iam ๐Ÿ˜“ "Maybe he was right about them not being able to think..."

Hym "That isn't an excuse! This is ridiculous. They're ramping up."

Iam "I know but we..."

Hym "No 'buts'! The danger is real. This makes any subsequent action retaliatory. This is why you don't imitate the creature. Can't even go to a fucking restaurant!"

by Hym Iam July 27, 2022

8 up, 4 down


a place where you eat food

i eat at a restaurant.

by erikko June 3, 2004

72 up, 47 down

The Restaurants

Applebees, Grand China Buffet, Chiles, Princess Maria Diner, Blue Swan.
The meeting places for the Gang of Jack S.

When the Gang shows up everyone else gets the fuck out of there.

by Gang of Jack S. April 13, 2004


What a womans tits become when she gets pregnant.

Damn my tits hurt.Thats because they just became restaurants.

by randi November 29, 2003

21 up, 21 down